What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? (Mary Oliver)
I’m looking for a real conversion, I want to a new approach to living. I’m quitting my real job to get my head out of that space that’s been so shitty. The world is shitty in other ways, and I feel like the goddess is letting that fucknut burn Twitter to the ground so I will stop spending my time there – that’s how impossible it has been for me to stop, regardless of its effect on me.
But ‘not working’ is an absence, not a presence. How do I adjust my relationship to myself and also the world I inhabit. I’m planning some travel, but the world I’m trying to explore is really inside my head. Or something.
Words have always been my jam. But words hide as much as they reveal, and you can indeed say a thousand words and never get to the picture’s truth.
Poetry is using language to hide the words while revealing the meaning of things.
And since I always say I have no discipline (because I do not), and yet always try to ‘improve’ myself by saying I’ll write every day or paint every day or draw every day and quite literally never manage it – I clearly need to make such a plan again.
Read: poetry every day (ok, this is so doable – I do literally read every day, and poems are mostly very short!)
Write: poetry every day. (again, probably doable, see above re: length of poems). Notice I did not say write ‘good’ poetry.
I was listening to a podcast where poets Saeed Jones (who I’m familiar with) and Rachel Zucker (unknown to me) are discussing Saeed’s poetry collection & memoir. My brain & my heart both felt like connections were made that had never existed before in either of them. And that is exactly what I’m trying to build into my life and my future. More light, more connection, evolution.
I was going to share the poem I wrote, but I think I need this to be about the process, not the product, for the moment.
So please -share a favorite poem or poet or poetry collection. I will need something to feed the machine.
2 thoughts on “Is this the way? Attempt #1”
Firstly, I celebrate your authenticity and vulnerability to share your current state of HARD. I’m experiencing something similar, though not yet as pressing. Perhaps a phone call is in order, regular calls, even.
Secondly, I lie to myself and say I do not like poetry. But whenever I’m shelving books of poetry at work, I rifle the pages and realize that yes, yes I do like poetry. Anthologies are particularly appealing due to their buffet-like nature; there’s something to feast upon for each type of hunger.
Hugs and much love–
Phone calls! Regular! Sounds lovely. Thanks for reading. I think there’s a lot of hard going around.